FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
