Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
