TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Randomize
