listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
