I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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