you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
