who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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