So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
