You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
