You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
jump out the window naked night went bad
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
