OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
