Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
