she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Sorry my hands just texted you
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
