She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
