me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
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