We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
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