I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
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