Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
