They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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