totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
