very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
