My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
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