And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
