Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
