We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
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