That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
