Umm I'm too high to move.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
