Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I will pee on everything he values.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
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