so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
