you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
