Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Randomize
