My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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