We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
