Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
