I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
