yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Randomize
