ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
