Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
