Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
