That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
she looked like the before picture.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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