You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
