It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Randomize
