We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
