I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
