Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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