all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Randomize
