I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize