Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
