Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
