Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
