I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
