summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
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