you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
