I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
