I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I had to cum in my sink.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
