i think my tv is drunk
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
